I hate not having anyone to talk to while I'm on msn...while I'm alone and have nothing really to do except study. In the end I don't study but I start thinking...about many things and they slowly get to me and that's when I'm just totally out of it and my mood sinks down. I really hate it, then I just decide to isolate myself, go off msn and study or watch something...usually the 2nd option. Yeah...I hate thinking, I just hate it and I hate it when I think about stuff that get to me, get to me emotionally. I hate thinking about the past, the events affected me negatively. It always gets to me, I start missing people that were in my life. I start overthinking things, I start panicking. I always have a habit with thinking, remembering things that take away my smile. I try hard not but no matter how much I try, it always leads back there. Talking to people take my mind of these things which is great, just that I don't really have many people to talk to or they're just stoned conversations.
Reminds me of the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind where you can erase whatever you don't want from your memory. I should do that, just that I'll erase everything and live under a rock (: All problems solved...HAHA.
Christina.
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