Day 1.

Woke up, my eyes hurt like shit, couldn't even up them. Thought i had eye infection from wearing my contacts too long and stuff only to find out there were just puffy from crying too much the previous night. Never had it happened to me before. My eyes were in to much pain for me to wear my contacts so i just wore my glasses instead.
Thought i would manage through the day with a straight face and it would just be okay. I would get over it and it was just a short phrase. On the walk to school it was just awkward silence between me and steph. We don't usually walk in silence. We would talk and laugh about all the shit we did and random things.
English was first period, tried to act normal and stuff. We were practicing writing short stories preparing for Monday. My story was of a depressing one.
Recess came by and went.
Drama, it felt depressing going to class, i thought there wasn't a chance i would explode emotionally. ~ I walked to class only to find a crowd as usual and behind that crowd john was already sulking. Then it hit me, i know she isn't here anymore but i miss her so much, i burst into tears. Most the period i was in tears, our group was quiet and off task in our own little way of sulking, i tried to stop but it just couldn't, it just felt so sad and the tears kept running. Cree let our group off this lesson's task and tried to comfort us which just made me burst into even more tears. He told us that there's no embarrassment in crying and that it was completely normal. I had just stopped crying closer towards the end of the period when Cree told the whole class about her...absence, i burst again. It wasn't until drama was over that i eventually stopped.
History was the same, i'm quiet, we got results back from the writing essay task.
Sport. Yeah it was alright, we tried to be normal but somehow it just felt slightly odd. Our conversations were boring and we all avoided the subject that was running through all our minds. It was awkward.
Such a painful day. I can't possibly imagine enduring another day like today all over again. Thankgod geo excursion tomorrow, something out of the ordinary. I don't think i can handle ordinary at the moment. It just wouldn't be ordinary any more.

Lien